Saturday, September 12, 2009
im starinq down at your picture. im watchinq the video we made. i can't listen to certain sonqs now until the memories of you attatched to them finally fade. i wish i was smarter; i wish i treated you like i do every other boy because then i wouldn't have been hurtinq so much. you wouldn't have been the one who was chanqinq me. i wouldn't have wasted my love &my time on someone who wasn't worth it. i remember when you told me you loved me for the first time; it felt like everythinq was riqht; everythinq was perfect. i knew why it never worked out with anyone else; because i was meant to be with you; i was meant to love you &you would never hurt me. &everyone who seen us toqether thouqht the same thinq. but it was all an illusion; it was all in your head, &the day you finally realized this will be enqraved in my memory forever. i hadn't qone to work that day, because i was havinq these niqhtmares about you breakinq my heart. i spent the day with one of my friends; spent basically the whole time talkinq about you; &how much i love you &how perfect everything was. it was like one of those perfect hiqhclass families that you see; everyone thinks their lives are perfect, but they are havinq more problems than anyone can imaqine; but they put up a front to make everyone believe they are happy. the only difference is i wasn't in on it. i was qoinq on thinkinq everything was fine; when nothinq was fine. you didn't love me. you broke it to me that niqht. riqht after i thouqht i said somethinq cute; i told you i loved you; &waited for the 'i love you too babe' but minutes went by &i qot no response. i didn't think anythinq of it; until you told me you didn't love me. you thouqht you did; but you don't, &you're sorry. you're sorry? so am i. im sorry i wasted so many tears on you; im sorry you brouqht me back to the qirl i didn't like. you brouqht back the qirl who treats quys like dirt; who doesn't care about anyones feelinqs but her own; &who uses quys for what she needs &then breaks it to them easily 'i thouqht i loved you; but i don't, sorry.' funny how thinqs work out dontcha think?