its old; &none of this matters now; but i still wanted to share

bitch; slut; whore; skank;

maybe everyone's right.
maybe everyone knows the truth about me that i keep suppressing.

i love him, more than anyone i've ever met.
&i still managed to hurt him more than anyone i've ever hurt.
i cheated; lied to his face; &after a while; in my mind; i actually started to believe myself.
believe the bullshit i was saying; about how nothing happened between us.

but thats all it was, bullshit.

i may have fucked up; i may have hurt you more than i ever thought i could have;
more than i ever wanted to; because i would give up my life if it meant you didnt hurt anymore.
but i want you to forgive me; or try to work this out.
i want you to give me a chance; give me a chance to prove to you that i'd never do something like that again; that i'd never hurt you again.

love has its bumpy times; &yes, i did something horrible &i dont deserve you anymore;
but i love you; more than any girl will ever love you;
&even though i hurt you i know i can make up for it.
i know that once we get through this nothing will ever be able to bring us down.

You're my Mr.Big &im Carrie;
You're Aladdin &im Jasmin;
You're Corey &im Topanga;
You're Jack &im Sally;
we're meant to be; &im sorry; but i wont give up on you.

i cant.

i cant live my life without you. i cant go on without your arms around me or your lips on mine.
i cant go on without the silly voicemails you leave me; or me walking on your feet as if im a kid.
i cant go on without our movie nights; or when you make me dinner &i attempt to help &you laugh at me; cuz you know i cant cook.
i cant go on without seeing the look in your eyes that shows me how much you really love me;
or the way when we're walking down the street &we both go to grab each others hand at the same time; &then we both smile after we notice it.
i cant go on without the cute text messages we send eachother throughout the day; ya know, when we actually aren't together.
i cant go on without you.
everything about you; &everything you bring out in me.


i know you need time; &ill wait as long as it takes. iLOVEyou. &ill do whatever it takes to get you back.